Reasons Why You Should Play Puzzle Games More

Games are generally entertaining, but you can get so much more than just entertainment when you choose puzzle games. The puzzles do entertain, but at the same time they exercise the brain, thus increasing intelligent growth and learning ability. They are not good only for children, but also adults because they improve the brain function. The problems are stimulating and they help you test ingenuity. There are so many reasons you should consider playing puzzle games more and they include the following.

1. Puzzles help improve intelligence quotient

As a player, your IQ level will be raised because the puzzles force you to reason and think beyond what is usual. You end up using memory, general knowledge, problem solving skills, logic and spatial imagery and they all work together in sharpening your intellect because you learn challenge overcoming.

2. The puzzles are educative

This can be said for puzzles because they employ research skills and you end up learning new words and proper spellings of the same hence you improve language and spelling skills. Creativity, concentration and reasoning are some of the other areas that puzzles work on making you a better leaner. Whether you are playing word find, letter games, jigsaw puzzles and others, you will reap educational benefits and have some fun while at it.

3. They play a role in enhancing motor skills

This is especially beneficial for children because they are at a stage where they are learning to hold a pencil. The puzzles can help speed up this learning process because they need to hold objects; other than pencil they would need to hold jigsaw puzzle pieces and move them from place to place till they find their rightful places. Peg-hole puzzles are just as helpful in improving motor skills and they all together develop and enhance eye-hand coordination.

4. Puzzles help in improving cognitive ability

They help in enhancing visualizing and understanding of whole part relationship in children. Kids get to learn lots when dealing with numbers, shapes and colors because they need to figure out where the objects belong. Advanced level puzzles on the other hand help adults in enhancing language skills. Puzzles like scrabble, Sudoku and mathematical puzzles as well as crosswords are all beneficial.

5. They help in improving social skills

Even though puzzles can be handled and enjoyed by an individual, they become even more fun when there is more than one player because they introduce some sense of competition hence every player gives best attempts. The players need to share, coordinate, follow and lead and this helps in improving social skills that are very important. They also offer a great platform to learn how to best deal with frustrations that are common with puzzles that prove to be difficult.

6. The puzzles help in increasing and improving productivity

This is because they offer a fun way of memorizing, grasping and learning content in a given subject area. Students have easy time learning because they do not feel too pressured to understand and they instead learn the concepts subconsciously while playing and enjoying the game.

Sex Games – How to Give a Woman an Orgasm on a Bus! (3 Tips to Get Away With it Yet Have Orgasms)

One of my friends had sex on a bus and she told me all about it. Here’s her story about wild orgasms and female ejaculations! I think everyone should try it.

Apparently she had been gambling in Vegas and decided to come back (and I mean come back) on a bus. She was down there with her friends and they thought it would be fun to ride the bus back.

When she got on the bus a handsome stranger helped her put her small bag above and she decided she liked him. He was ruggedly built, had a great smile, and was very polite.

She decided to sit next to him and soon they were laughing and acting like old friends. Once he got to know her he asked her what was the most exciting thing she’d ever done. She replied that she hadn’t done it yet but maybe would on the bus ride today. He knew how to get to her head and therefore, her body.

Tip #1. If you’re trying to get to a woman’s body then get to her head first. How do you do that? You communicate with her. Communication is one of women’s top 5 needs. For some women, that don’t get much adult communication, it is their #1 need.

They decided to do it – have sex on the bus. How did they get away with it without being arrested? Check out their clever little tactic.

Tip #2. If you’re trying to have sex in a public place, and perhaps a common carrier like a bus, then you better create a diversion.

The handsome stranger picked out a rough-looking guy and whispered in his ear. The guy agreed and held out his hand. The stranger gave him a $100 bill.

At that point, the rough-looking guy stood up in his seat and started yelling “the bus stinks.” He kept it up until finally the bus driver pulled over, walked back to the guy and asked him what his problem was.

The guy told him that the bus stunk in the front, like there were ripe diapers. The bus driver went up and down the aisle and almost everyone in the bus were complaining and standing up looking at the front.

In the meantime, the couple were in the bathroom having sex. Nobody was paying attention to them because of the commotion up front.

After ten minutes, they leisurely strolled up to the front with wide grins on their face. Nobody paid any attention to them.

Tip #3. The reason for their wide smiles is because they both had a great time (many great orgasms). The tip is if you’re going to do something dangerous that might wind you up in jail you better back up your words. This is no time for bragging without backing it up.

The stranger made sure that she had great orgasms by knowing her anatomy and her sexual physiology.

There are at least three things that any man must know about giving women orgasms:

1. Tease her clit lightly and with an intermittent action. In other words, don’t put a lot of pressure on it and don’t keep the action up steadily.

2. Use firm pressure on the g-spot. It is located 2 inches inside the lady, just past the pubic bone. Two fingers inside seems to be what most women respond best with.

3. Use combinations. It is difficult to coordinate this, but well worth it. You must use a steady, firm pressure with your two fingers while you’re using an intermittent, light touch with your thumb. It takes some practice but she will appreciate it.

The next time you take a bus trip look around to see if any couples are heading to the bathroom.

Is it Safe to Have Pet Rats and a Cat in the Same House?

A question I get asked a lot is whether it is possible for those who already own a cat to adopt pet rats. There are a number of factors to consider before making this decision. Whilst there are those few people who say that their cat poses no threat to their rodent pals and happily post pics of their cat and rat getting along well this is a very rare case and should not be treated as the norm.

I should point out at this stage that I live with my 2 pets rats, Pea and Mingles, my dog, Charlie, a Maltese x Shitzu and my cat, Dylan, a Ragdoll x Persian. All of my animals are rescues and they are all wonderful in different ways. However despite his Ragdoll bloodline, Dylan most definitely has the hunting instinct and I would never let the rats run around out of the rat cage whilst he is in the room. It is important to remember that even if you choose a gentle breed like a pure Ragdoll cat and have them from a kitten, they should still never be left out with your pet rats.

It is possible to keep pet rats if you have a cat, although you should weigh out the pros and cons before adopting your new pets. Here are some things to consider:

1. Separation – You will need to be able to easily separate your cat and rats when you want to let your rats out. This could mean using a spare room as a ratty room. This is what I do. The spare room is free from rat dangers like wires, sharp objects and small things they could choke on. It is also fully sealed. There are no little holes in the wall that the rats could escape from. I try to spend an hour a day in there with my rats. We can play together and I can do some training with them safely away from naughty cat claws and teeth. I also have a lot of fun tubes, boxes and even a rat swimming pool for them to explore. Cats are usually fine with this time out and as long as they have plenty of room to roam and their food, water and litter tray (and in our case a doggy companion) they will be fine.

2. Security – You will need to be 100% sure that your rat cage is secure. Of course you would need to do this anyway, because you wouldn’t want your rats to escape and get into danger. When we first adopted our two rats Pea and Mingles the old owners gave us their cage and it had a hole in. It was a small hole and I blocked it with plastic boxes and duct tape, but I had the scare of my life when I found Pea running around the floor with Dylan the cat about to pounce. Luckily I picked Pea up in time and the rats have since moved to a 100% safe (and huge!) cage, but please don’t let your pets get into this situation. Rats are notorious escape artists. You may think that the space is too small for them to squeeze out of, but they will surprise you. Make sure the rat cage is sturdy (cannot be knocked over) and that there are plenty of areas for the rats to hide from prying eyes.

3. Common Sense – You know your cat better than anyone, but even if you have the gentlest cat in the world who appears to want to be friends with your rats, please be very careful and never ever leave them unsupervised together. I can have my rats sit on my shoulder whilst Dylan is sitting next to me on the sofa, but if he is sitting on top of the sofa I am very careful. The rats’ tails are irresistible to most cats.

If you have a cat and you are willing to put in some extra effort to ensure the safety of your rats then there is no reason you shouldn’t have rodent pets. However, make sure that you have more than one rat. This is always best as the rats can keep each other company when they are in their rat cage. Even if you can spend a lot of time with your rat, when you are away, or asleep the rats can snuggle and play together and groom each other. It will make all the difference to their lives.

Rats may seem fearless at times, but if you have more than one cat, perhaps you should think about whether a rat is really a good pet for you and your family. Imagine how the rats will feel as all the cats investigate the cage and try to figure out ways to get in.

If you have decided to adopt some rats, be sure to take responsibility for their welfare. If you have a child who has begged you for rats they may learn some responsibility, but ultimately it is the adult who should ensure the animals’ welfare and make sure the cats do not pose a problem. It is also essential to ensure your cats are getting just as much attention as they used to, before the new additions.

I hope this article has helped you work out whether keeping rats and cats together could work for your family.

Good Luck!

Back to Basics – Principles of Life Coaching

The history of Life Coaching is quite diverse, however a lot of the concepts and principles used in Life Coaching can be correlated back to humanistic psychology that has its foundations from Carl Rogers’ and Abraham Maslow’s theories on higher human values, self-development and self-understanding. It is important for coaches to have a comprehensive understanding of the theories, strategies and techniques that can be drawn from to assist clients achieve their personal best. Some of the theories that provide the backbone for many coaching approaches are: the GROW Model, Reality Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Following is an overview of each of these theories and techniques:

GROW Model – An effective technique which can be used by coaches to structure their coaching conversations. The GROW model provides focus and direction to coaching sessions and is useful in increasing client awareness and accountability. The letters GROW form the acronym for: Goal, Reality, Options and Way forward.

Reality Therapy – Based on choice theory, this therapy holds that the underlying problem of all clients is the same: they are either involved in a present unsatisfying situation or simply not where they want to be. If this therapy is to be successful, the coach must guide the client to a satisfying situation and literally teach the client to behave in more effective ways than he/she is presently behaving.

Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT) – The SFT focuses on the unsatisfactory situation, rephrases it, presents alternative possibilities, develops goals and then develops an action plan to meet these goals. This type of therapy is based on the belief that answers reside in the individual’s own repertoire of skills and is always framed within a context of human competency and our ability to change and adapt.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) – A technique rather than a therapy, NLP is the study of what works in thinking, language and behaviour. It is used as a coaching intervention to enhance learning abilities, set goals, improve relationships and manage thoughts and emotions more effectively.

Business Mentors From Game of Thrones

The internet…

There’s some amazing things about it. And some that aren’t. And that’s putting it mildly.

See, it’s become a bit of a breeding ground for self-proclaimed business mentors.

You know the ones – they’ve never actually run a business outside of teaching other people how to run a business.

Mind = Blown.

At best, they’re a little bit daft.

At worst, they’re scam artists.

Anyway, these “gurus” remind me of a certain character in Game of Thrones.

(By the way, if you haven’t seen it yet, you’re missing out on one of life’s greatest pleasures. Moving on… )

Now, I have to be honest…

I can’t actually remember the guy’s name. He was way back in season two and didn’t have a big role. But he was one of the rulers in a city called “Qarth”.

Qarth was seen as one of the wonders of the world. It was beautiful. Exotic. And hot.

But the thing Quarth was most famous for was its wealth; It was one of the richest cities in Westeros (which, if you haven’t lost your Game of Thrones virginity yet, is the name of the land where the show is set.)

But get this:

Throughout season two, this particular character fancies a woman called Khaleesi. (And trust me, you can’t blame him!)

But Khaleesi wasn’t interested. And so he then tried to woo her with gold and the promise of an army at her back. Still didn’t work.

The poor guy was well and truly friend-zoned.

Anyway, Qarth had a mega-secure vault where they kept all the city’s gold and other treasures. And it was mentioned throughout season 2.

But here’s the kicker.

It turned out at the end of the season (and don’t worry, this ain’t a major spoiler), that there was actually…

NOTHING in the vault at all.

Zip.

Nada.

Zilch.

Qarth had been faking their wealth all along.

But the rest of the world still believed Quarth was minted.

And you know what?

This reminds me of a lot of online “business mentors”.

Just like Qarth, they also pretend they’re made of money. They pretend they’re a powerhouse in the online world. They pretend that, if you hire them as a mentor, your business will change overnight.

Yet here’s the thing:

Most of these “gurus” are like Qarth – Built on lies. Built on bullshit.

So what SHOULD you do when looking for a mentor?

Well, look for someone who has already done the things you want to achieve.

And, most importantly, make sure they’ve actually run a business other than coaching people how to run a business.

Personally, I believe I have the two best mentors in the world – Dan Meredith and Dexter Abraham

Two guys who are:

A) Genuine.

B) Have already achieved the things I want to achieve

C) Have run multiple successful businesses outside of coaching

And…

D) They’re geniuses.

There you have it.

Having a mentor is huge. The things I’m learning are mind-blowing.

But it has to be a good mentor.

If you pick the wrong one, then the only thing you’ll get out of it is a huge whole in your wallet.

How To Find Age Appropriate Toys For Children

Fond memories of childhood usually bring to mind a favorite toy. A cuddly doll, colorful crayons, or a special wagon are all childhood favorites. Toys bring a great deal of joy to children, but they also can be valuable learning tools. Exploring, pretending, and sharing are just a few of the important skills children develop while they play. Toys don’t have to be expensive. Cardboard boxes in the backyard and measuring cups in the bathtub are favorite standards. But parents who do wish to purchase toys may find it helpful to know what toys to choose and which to avoid for children of different ages.

Infants and Toddlers – Every child is unique, has its specific pattern of development and has different ways of cruising through the milestones of physical, mental and social development. Infants and toddlers learn about the world through their senses. They are interested in the sight, sound, smell, texture, and taste of things. Objects or toys that can be squeezed, dropped, poked, twisted, or thrown are sure to cause delight. Toddlers also enjoy any item that can be stacked, poured, opened, closed, pushed, or pulled. Toys are vital for the physical and mental development of your infant baby. The toys have a significant bearing on your infant’s personality, therefore must be carefully selected.

Preschoolers – During these years, children use their imagination to imitate adult activity and participate actively in physical games. Their physical coordination develops, and the foundation of printing and writing is also laid at this time. Preschool children learn by doing. They are busy developing new skills. They like drawing, painting, and building. They also spend a great deal of time pretending. Dress-up clothes, pretend play and puppets are big favorites. Preschoolers are energetic and active. They need large balls to roll and throw, wagons to pull, and tricycles to ride.

School-age Children – At this stage child learn about getting along with others, and about the adult world of sports, games and careers. They develop intellectual and social interests and make strong friendships, likes and dislikes. School-age children feel more grown-up and love activities that lead to “real products” such as jewelry, “designer” T-shirts, or stamp collections. They also develop a keen interest in sports and enjoy having adult-like physical equipment such as softball gloves, tennis rackets, or skates. They have a better understanding of rules and enjoy playing with others. Board games, cards, or dominoes teach math concepts and problem-solving skills.

The age of your child and not the activity level, is a primary factor in selecting an appropriate educational learning toys. Toys should not promote a single thought or concept; instead, they should enhance creativity and thinking skills. Toys and games are also important for the child to learn and practice logical and problem-solving. Toys that can be played in a number of ways serve as great educational tools and endorse comprehensive development of your child.

How To Find Love On An Online Dating Site Even If You Are Busy

We now live in an age where it’s becoming harder and harder to meet new people and go out on dates. The fact of the matter is that we’re working more while playing less, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be this way. With the advent of online dating, more and more busy people are finding the time they need to meet new people and to get back into the dating game again.

Online dating is becoming more and more popular as we speak. There are sites such as match.com and eharmony.com that advertise their services on TV and they are portraying the fact that it’s okay to be involved in online dating. The stigma that used to be attached to online dating has gone away and online dating is starting to become the norm.

If you’re someone who is always at work and don’t have the time to go to a bar or club, then maybe you should give online dating a try. You never know when you’ll meet someone just like you and that shares the same interests as you do. With the availability of the many sites out there, you can now pick and choose the kind of woman that you’re looking for based on your interests.

There are a ton of dating sites that cater to individual needs. For example if you’re into big women dating, you can join a bbw site. If you’re into mature women dating, you can join a cougar dating site. If you’re into interracial dating, you can join an interracial dating site. There are a lot more specialized sites like these on the internet and you just have to pick and choose to find your flavor.

When starting off in online dating, you will want to take your time. There are still a lot of scammers who will want to take advantage of you and your personal information so you will want to play it safe at first. It’s best not to give a woman your phone number until 2 weeks has passed. This will give you enough time to decide whether or not this is someone you want to share your personal information with.

To have the most success with online dating, there are some things that you will want to do to maximize your success. The first thing that you should do is upload a photo. Having a photo will dramatically increase your chances for success tenfold. When you try to do online dating without a photo, you will find that your efforts are doomed from the start. Women won’t even bother to view your profile because the majority of them are just browsing profiles from the search results.

And also, a lot of dating sites will put your profile to back of the list along with the other profiles that don’t have a photo – thereby decreasing the chances of you ever getting found. Upload a photo, it’s one of the best things that you can do for yourself.

The next thing that you will want to do is complete all sections of your profile. Completing all sections will let women know that you could potentially be the one for them. Women actually do read through your profile because they’re checking to see if you both have things in common. Improve your chances of success by filling out all sections of your profile. Take the extra 2 minutes to do so and you will find that your chances of success with improve.

All of these tips for having online dating success is yours for the taking.

Good luck with online dating, and finding the right woman for you.

The Truth of Genesis: When The Brimstone Hits The Fan, Sorrow In The Land

According to our Creator’s calendar, the celestial event of the Shoemaker/Levy-9 Comet, began on the seventh day of the fifth month, named Av, on July 16th 1994 AD. The 20th anniversary of that event will about fall on August 4th 2014, which is a Monday, the start of the seven year tribulation period. However, I expect that preliminary turmoil will begin Friday morning, August 1st., when financial institutions say that they will be closed, and will reopen on the following Monday… , but they won’t.

Just as in August of 1994, I’m afraid that the Major League baseball season will end, and there may be only one weekend of NFL football this year, the Hall of Fame game. Those of you that are agnostics and atheists, mark those dates on your calendar, and see if what has been said goes down. Will you believe in our Creator then? Or will you continue to refuse to acknowledge Yehovah, our Savior, and King of Israel? Other than in the future article “America’s Last Happy Birthday”, those dates won’t be mentioned again.

Atheists and agnostics not only refuse to acknowledge Yehovah, but just like the Muslims, they deny the divinity of Yeshua, the Messiah. Muslims have to deny that Yeshua was Divine, in an attempt to give Islam some sort of credibility. Yet they are just another false and evil religion, that denies the truth of the Bible, created by an evil person (Muhammad). Even Orthodox Jews, who relegate Jesus to just a “minor prophet”, acknowledge His life on Earth, but have trouble justifying His death, and avoid any discussion about His resurrection. The Pharisees, priests, and Sanhedrin of the day tried their very best to discredit His resurrection, but could not. That alone should have been enough to make them accept Him as being “the Prophet”, of which Moses spoke.

Yet Atheists and agnostics foolishly fail to acknowledge anything that would connect to the existence of our God. As of this article, I no longer feel sorry for them. When the events written in the book of Revelation begin to occur, starting later this year (2014 AD), they can rest assured that they have a waiting eternal reserved seat in the Lake of Fire with Lucifer, whom they serve.

There are those that wonder, “what happened to our country”? For more than fifty-five years, school boards have been only teaching evolution (Atheism) to our children, and now those mis-informed adults are in leadership roles and elected offices. Members of Congress and the White House have committed treason against America since the death of President John F. Kennedy. The atheists, Muslims, and the ungodly are in positions of power, and only disaster can be the result.

For over twenty years, churches, Bible schools, and seminaries have refused to examine and teach the truth of Genesis, which is the “Observations of Moses”, the correct opposing view to evolution. Instead of teaching the truth, more than 15,000 assemblies choose to celebrate “Evolution Sunday”. What advantage has there ever been, to teaching a lie, and refusing to have the truth taught? So of course, you can expect a rise in Atheism, Agnosticism, and ungodliness, because the “so called” church has refused to teach the whole truth of the Bible. This is what we as a nation has asked for, and this is what we now have.

When the USA crashes and falls, and the world bankers try to piece together what is left, our Asian debit will confuse the issue, and certain past secret deals of treason will come to light. The followers of Lucifer (the Illuminati), who have sold their souls to Satan for (mega) riches, will join forces with the evil of Islam, along with the remnants of the Constantine regime, aka the Vatican. A “one world government” will be set up, but it won’t last long. Satan is the author of confusion. Dissention shall abound in the ranks, and the evil of Islam will overcome and destroy the Catholic regime. The Illuminati, who for centuries has orchestrated wars and civil unrest, will learn that they can’t control the arm of Islam, and will fall victim to its will.

A year later, after all of this starts, Israel will begin construction of its Temple. I am persuaded that the present Muslim Mosque will come down first, and great delight will be in Israel as they begin construction of the long awaited Temple of Yehovah. I hope to see it, before the man of sin defiles it in 2018 AD. Perhaps others have more insight on how war in the Middle East will play out. My guess is that Israel will defeat her enemies as “evil fire” flies across the land (Zech. 5).

Let me repeat this again. There is no “pre”, or “mid” tribulation rapture. When Yeshua (Jesus) appears in the sky, for all to see Him, and He destroys the armies of the anti-Christ, only then are the dead in Christ raised. The living and once dead saints are changed to “glorified” bodies, and they shall be gathered by the angels to meet Yehovah in the air… , after the seventh trumpet! Find and read the previous two articles, “The Biblical New Year, Passover, And The Final Countdown“, and “The Seven Years of Tribulation, Virtual Hell On Earth!” for more detail.

Yes, the next seven years will be a terrible time. But think of it as a woman in her last hours of travail, before the relief of a successful birth. Creation of our universe was over 4 billion years ago. For the last billion years, Earth has suffered from the evil of Lucifer, and he is down to his last 1,015 years, and he knows it. Rather than to submit, repent, and accept his punishment, he wants to destroy all of mankind that he can, and take them down with him. It puzzles me why certain people are willing to serve him, knowing that there is no future with him.

How are the rest of us to survive? It’s not all “doom and gloom”. I suggest to all that they leave their trinitarian assemblies (since they do not teach the truth of salvation) and seek out churches that teach the “Oneness doctrine”. Today, they are known as Apostolic Pentecostal assemblies (Jesus Only). They are “the elect” that Jesus will come for. If you decide “that’s not for me”, you are saying “Heaven is not for you”, and you will have a VERY hard time refusing the “mark of the Beast”, when hunger for you and your loved ones takes hold, and evil men begin to kill all who refuse to comply with Satan’s henchmen. By the way, there is a plan is place to massacre most of the current population of Earth.

This, and only this, is the truth of obtaining salvation (the kingdom of God). Repentance of all sin, water immersion using the name of the Lord Jesus (Yeshua the Messiah), and receiving the Holy Ghost (of Yeshua), evidenced by the spirit speaking, aka “other tongues”, whether or not you have the human power of speech. Water baptism is the only way to obtain remission of sins. The blood of Jesus is the cleansing agent, and is applied when calling on His name (Acts 22:16). When the Holy Ghost is received, it makes an audible sound (Matt. 3:17, Mark 16:17, Acts 2:4, Acts 10:46, Acts 19:6).

There are many Jews and gentiles that won’t have salvation, which will survive into the 1000 Year Millennium, and will not have submitted to the Beast. I say to all, when the “brimstone hits the fan”, do not cause trouble. Do not riot or act disorderly, giving authorities an excuse to impose Martial Law and internment. Peacefully resist evil compliance, and do not ever accept the “mark of the Beast”. If you do, you will be forever tormented in the Lake of Fire.

In our next chapter, we’ll speak more of the anti-Christ, and reveal more information about the false prophet (the Beast, the False Jesus, and the Rapture).

Herman Cummings

[email protected]

How to Leave the Rescue Role Behind

When I was a kid, I went to the public pool almost every day. One particular day, my friend Sheri Lou Green went with me. At ten years-old Sheri Lou was an awkward swimmer, slapping the water and fighting for every stroke.

The lifeguard noticed Sheri Lou flailing about and threw her a life buoy. It almost hit her in the head, (which would have made her circumstances worse than they already were). After being startled initially, Sheri Lou ignored the gesture and continued to thrash about until she reached the side of the pool.

The lifeguard was furious and kicked both of us out of his area. Instead of being happy that Sheri Lou didn’t need his help, he was incensed that she didn’t accept it.

This childhood memory parallels with the rescue role on the Karpman Drama Triangle: When you participate on the Drama Triangle from the rescue position, everyone looks like they are drowning. It’s difficult to distinguish the difference between helping when it’s genuinely needed and rescuing, which enables the other person to remain the victim.

How to Spot the Rescue Role

The rescue role shows up in subtle ways. It is the need to make things right while taking ownership of problems that don’t belong to you with the belief that no one can solve the problem but you.

Perhaps the easiest way to spot the rescue role is to see how often you give advice. If you are starting your sentences with phrases such as, “If I were you…” and “I’ll tell you what you ought to do…” that’s a good sign you’re a rescuer.

When you give unsolicited advice, you might momentarily get a fix by feeling like the hero who has simply “shared a good idea” but as it has been said, ideas are easy and action is hard.

If everyone (including your family) actually request “free” advice, you are playing the rescue role with those who are willing. Spending time counseling others is completely harmless until you get angry because you spent time on someone else’s problem only to have them discount your suggestions and repeat the same mistakes.

When you get angry because someone else ignored your well-intentioned advice, you are just like the lifeguard that mistook poor   swimming  skills for drowning. You continue to throw out the life buoy only to have it rejected.

There are other, more subtle ways the rescue role shows up in the business world: The worker who always stays late for everyone else, the boss who continues to cover for a bad employee, the CFO that skews the numbers in order to meet Wall Street standards. When you keep trying to rescue those who can save themselves, the result is that you will feel an energy drain which can result in physical illness or loss of productivity.

How To Break the Rescue Role Pattern

Identifying the patterns is the first step to breaking them. It might take a while for you to identify your rescue tendencies. My urge to rescue appears when a meeting gets out of hand or goes overtime. The rescuer starts to emerge as I feel the strong almost irresistible urge to step in and take charge of the meeting. By the way, another word for rescuer is control freak.

Rescuing is easy to identify at home. You do more than your fair share at home. You take over when trying to teach your child something new because it’s just easier to do it yourself.

You keep loaning money to your relative who never has had any luck. You lie for your spouse when he or she doesn’t follow through on commitments with the kids.

Rescuing makes you feel helpful and important, in fact it can even give you the self-concept of having all the answers or being a hero in a time of need.

Leave the Rescue Role Behind

In order to leave the rescue role behind you will probably be perceived occasionally as a persecutor. You won’t always get the approval and you won’t outshine others all the time. You may have real suffering as you try to break the addictive habit of watching a victim struggle, a coworker face his own in competencies, or others nodding in disapproval when you change and set new boundaries. People may be incensed if you start charging for your advice instead of having your time and energy consumed with other people’s problems.

You have to decide if the payoff of more energy to create the life you deserve is worth jumping off of the Triangle. Just remember when a victim comes knocking at your door: It takes two to play games, unless you’re playing solitaire.

Revivification of Consanguinity to Curtail Fanaticism

Man is a social animal; therefore, he is dependent upon others for his social needs. The presence of viable social institutions is mandatory to groom the people into reasonable citizens having a balanced approach. In the contemporary world, fate of economic, religious, political and family institutions is ubiquitously in the doldrums. Therefore, the number of enlightened smut-hounds and moderate cool cats is continuously dwindling. The degraded social institutions indoctrinate erratic emotions that dominate personality of a wooly back and hothead pussyfooter. Thus tentacles of immoderations ensnare him permanently and squeeze him perpetually. Although, the crackpot man has made much progress but ironically all his progress is counter progress. Professor Jody precisely pointed towards the deterioration of humanity in these words, “Man has learned to fly in the air like birds and acquired the skill to swim in the water like fish but he failed to find out how to walk on the earth like human.”

Family is a fundamental unit and key social institution for appropriate socialization by indoctrinating forbearance in individual through controlling torrents of inconsistent lyricisms. Therefore, the people whose upbringing is done in an apposite way become sensible and conscientious smart guys, and vice versa. Almost all of the obstinate lunkhead yobbos victimized by aberrant passions have some vacuum in their personality development. Human persona is like empty transparent vessel. It would reflect what you infuse in it. The kith and kin care about each other’s business; therefore, there is emotional attachment among members of kinship. Strength and solidarity of consanguinity depends upon magnitude of affiliation and coherence of bond among its members. Majority of needs of individuals are met through family; therefore, it is a source of affection, satisfaction and recreation. It acts as a shield to protect its entities from wiles of strangers and dangers besides race perpetuation.

Each family inherits a system of nomenclature with pertinent culture, traditions, values and norms. Psychologists are of view that mental growth of moppets and bubs completes within first five years. After this duration there is only polishing of characters with diverse life experiences. Therefore, one can assess circumstances of a family circle from behaviors of its elements because actions of a person reflect his family background. David Farrington, British crime psychologist, rightly said in his article printed in The Times ( London ) (May 19, 1994), “Problem children tend to grow up into problem adults and problem adults tend to produce more problem children.” (1)

As mother is heart of each family, therefore, she can provide open-minded Comstocks and modest wowsers to society. It is an open secret that if unfortunately a mother breathes her last during early age of her nippers, their chances of ruining mount manifold. However, if unluckily father kicks the bucket, in majority of the cases mother can properly tend her orphan kiddiewinks deprived of shadow of male parent. Napoleon Bonaparte suitably said, “Give me a good Mother; and I will give you good Nation”.” (2)

There is no alternative for parents. They have unbounded love for their children. It happens once in a blue moon that siblings after becoming adult respect and look after their old parents, as they love and philanthropize them throughout life. Crumb-crushers imitate their parents; therefore, most of the parents who spruce up their dustbin lids excellently get a hold of blessing in the form of obedient jumping cats and vice versa. Majority of diddybops of broken families are spoiled due to indulgence in bad companies. These grunge rootiepoots searching mental contentment are deprived of strong opinions and maturity. Therefore, religious and vulgar extremists can easily entice them by providing transitory mental satisfaction. Subsequently, they can be used by zealots for nefarious agendas through brainwashing.

Well-educated mothers lick into shape their ankle-biters by inculcating moral values and ethical principles. Lap of mother is said to be the first institution of learning. Therefore, education of mother is indispensable to polish her sprigs to workable members of a society. Indian religious leader Ruby Manikan said, “If you educate a man you educate a person, but if you educate a woman you educate a family.” (3) Women have been physically tortured, mentally strained, socially ridiculed, politically marginalized and economically exploited in our gender biased patriarchal society. In our feudal culture male community is ruling the roost; therefore, raising a voice for women rights in such stagnant ambiance is to show red rag to male chauvinist feudal bulls. Consequently, fundamental rights of females are hanging in the balance. The leading top cats must hammer into their minds that no nation can make progress by deliberately keeping half of its population sidelined in all avenues of national life. Children cannot be nourished in streets and day care centers. They need a home because production and rearing of a chickabiddy is only done in place of abode in the best possible way. A home remains incomplete without mother. In the western countries, official duty is 8-12 hours with two holidays at the weekend. High cost of living and capitalism has ensnared people of the west. Therefore, parents cannot give sufficient time to their rug rats and leave them in day care centers. The doddering ageds are bound to bear the brunt of old houses. In the western societies this degeneration of family has given birth to individualism, selfishness and distrust. Due to dilapidation of kinship casinos, dance clubs, splurging mushy wingdings, cinemas, bawdyhouses and beaches are the excellent places of entertainment and monstrous fountainheads of innumerable social evils in these glittering countries.

The western people have been harvesting bitter fruits of this blatant genealogy degradation in the form of progressively increasing tempos of uncontrolled extramarital relations, constantly on the rise digits of homosexual adventures, steadily increasing numbers of rapes, continuously rising figures of illegitimate children, swiftly mounting divorce rates, rapidly growing suicide rates, quickly escalating sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS, Hepatitis B and syphilis, and hastily upward numerals of deeply affecting psychological illnesses, etc. To telescope a cherry in the unbridled sexually lavish western civilization is becoming problematic.

People of same gender in the West avoid hand shaking, hugging and staying together to avoid label of nonconformist. They live with their opposite sex happily even without marriage in order to avoid costly and lengthy court procedure vis-à-vis divorce. U.S. columnist Dave Barry presented this gloomy picture in following words, “All life is bad, but family life is worse.” (4) Legitimacy of gay marriages and licensing of cathouses in some of the grubby cultured developed countries are zeniths of repercussions of hearth and home ruin. These degraded civilizations are treading on the course of self-immolation. Renowned poet Allama Muhammad Iqbal forecast this social ruin in these golden words, “Tumhari tehzeeb apne khanjar se aap he khud kushi kare gi; Jo shakhe nazuk pe asheana bane ga na-paidar ho ga.” (5) (Your civilization would commit suicide with your own dagger; the nest that is formed on the delicate twig would be shaky.)

Due to intermingling of opposite genders in our West-inspired society at educational institutions, neighborhoods, offices, etc., the development of sensual attachments among couples and love marriages are becoming very common. Some of these nuptials are successful but majority of them culminate in divorce because such twains lose their top most ambition and goal after marriage. In most of the cases the families of one or both spouses have an aversion to such wedding. Parents of some couples reject them and they set a house apart from their relatives. No one can play role in case of ignition of a family conflict. Therefore, majority of the run-away matches conclude in civil litigations and termination of conjugality. Abuse of drugs of addiction, involvement in crimes, selling of kidneys to stand on their own feet, entangling in the snare of devious persons and committing of suicide is very common among these couples.

Today, divorce seems to be the penicillin to cure all marriage related tribulations in the West. Married couples who are struggling with personal and business gauntlets don’t bother to fix the problem to avoid divorce. Instead, they embrace it and see divorce as an easy, expedient conclusion to a bad marriage. Now, a divorce is cooking for the odd stick fat-arse author of ‘The Satanic Verses’ and his Top Chef host wife, Padma Lakshmi, but it was a little unclear who was stirring the pot. Lakshmi, 36 said that she “has agreed with her husband-author, Salman Rushdie, to end their marriage.” (6) in a statement released by her publicist, Christina Papadopoulos. The statement issued by the host of the hit Bravo reality cooking show and the author of the Easy Exotic cookbook continued to say, “After an eight-year relationship including over three years of marriage, Lakshmi regrets that their mutual efforts failed to make the marriage work.” (7) It means that the sewer mouth alligator and the paraffin lamp splash have five years spurious correlation that is a pictogram of novelty in the western culture.

The traditional joint family system acts as a small economic unit. The members of the clan work coherently and share their feelings that help them in socialization and development of tolerance. In these alliances, there are strong moral values, ethical principals, social customs and collective traditions that are compulsory primary instruments to keep check and balance on individuals. Now the numbers of extended families is continuously shrinking due to their replacement with nuclear families. Due to idealization of the western culture individualism and materialism have given birth to egocentrism. Owing to vitiation of folks at home there is gradual decline of moral and religious control on the populace.

Millions of people in the West lead an individual life. This individualism has generated selfishness and psychological illnesses in the western society. On April 16, 2007, on the Virginia Teck Campus in Blacksburg, Viginia (U.S) Seung-Hui Cho of South Korea murdered 32 people and injured 25 before committing suicide, making it the deadliest shooting in modern U.S. history. He was suffering from psychological illness due to living an individual life that resulted in a blood-spattered untoward incident. Eat, drink and be merry has become the sole aim of life in the advanced countries. Now the effects of this inhuman degeneration have permeated in posh areas of the developing countries that idealize western civilization. They must bear in mind that there is something beyond leisure that distinguishes man from animals.

Each nation is a throng of families and each family is a bunch of its members. Therefore, good families breed a good nation. The world is facing the spate of fanaticism, terrorism and suicide bombing. Therefore, there is crying need of rejuvenation of family institutions to alleviate the menace of extremisms and to develop tolerance in society. Media should launch an unprecedented crusade for promoting unity and fraternity among the individuals instead of promoting eccentricity. Parents should indoctrinate moral principles and ethical values in their siblings instead of sumptuously spending on materialistic schooling. They are bound to provide learning to their children in all arenas of life. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) said, “No present or gift of a parent, out of all gifts and presents to a child, is superior to a good liberal education.”

1. David Farrington (1944-), given at LEARNING SPACE, cited at [http://openlearn.open.ac.uk/mod/resource/view.php?id=184708]

2.Napolean Bonaparte, given at adhunica blog, cited at [http://adhunika.org/blog/2007/09/18/am-i-a-good-or-a-bad-bangladeshi/]

3. Ruby Manikan,given at Dedicatio.com, cited at http://www.dedicatio.com/categories/education

4. Dave Barry (?- ), U.S. columnist and wit. As Far as You Can Go (1963),given at Microsoft Encarta World English Dictionary

5.Allama Muhammad Iqbal,Qulyat-e-Iqbal

6. Chris Georg, Salman Rushdie to Divorce Fourth Wife ,Jcited at

7.ibid